Grace · Motherhood · Parenting

When Motherhood Doesn’t Go As Planned

I was never a better mother than before I actually had children.

I seriously thought I had it all figured out. I thought there were some basic things I could just count on.

I assumed my children would sleep when I needed them to, eat when I needed them to, smile for the camera when I asked them to, and do well in school when I expected them to.

I thought motherhood was a bit like math – good mom + lots of expectations = well behaved, easy children.

Then I had children.

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Suddenly, my idea of how motherhood should be, would be,  and has to be, was turned upside down.

The realization that I was wrong about being a mom, brought with it an intense fear. 

The fear that I was somehow doing it all wrong.

The fear that if I could just get it together, figure it out, and be like all the other moms who seemed to have it all together, my children would be better off.

It took me years to figure out that it was my unrealistic expectations that were wrong, not me.

It took me years to understand that my children are not math problems to solve or projects for me to complete.

It took me years to accept that sometimes, the greatest blessings in motherhood, are the ones we could never anticipate.

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Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to a group of young mothers about Fear and Faith as a Mom.

It was fun, and so encouraging, to see so many mommas in one room, doing the best they can, and loving their children.

It made we wistful for the baby years.

It made me grateful to be past the baby years.

And, more than anything else, it reminded me that the only thing that ever really defeats fear, is love.

I am excited to share with you the morning I spent with these amazing, young moms. Even though you weren’t there in person, you were with me in spirit.

Please take a listen.

 

Motherhood brings out the best in us and the worst in us.

It is an all day long, never really know if you are making the right choice, figuring it out as we go along kinda job.

And it’s the best one I know.