What If…

What if I never get better, Momma? What if I always feel like this? My son asked me this last night, mid-anxiety attack, through tears and stomach pain. My heart hurt and my eyes stung with tears as I rocked him and prayed. We got another bill from the hospital this week. Seven months later, tens of thousands of dollars, and it seems like...Read More

This Side Of Heaven (when we are forced to watch our children suffer)

I overheard my youngest son talking to his friend last week. "My biggest dream, besides being able to feel better and not have all my medical issues because that's really my biggest dream - my second biggest dream is that the owl from Hogwarts got lost on my birthday and it's still going to show up and I am going to find out that...Read More

When My Expectations Don’t Match My Reality

"I think you might be losing sight of the fact that he has an autism spectrum diagnosis. That's not going away. We need to talk about adjusting your expectations." This is what the behavioral pediatrician told me in our appointment last week. She said it in response to me telling her all the things we were "working on" and all the things that were...Read More

When My Home Feels Out Of Control

The past six months have been some of the most difficult of my entire life. My youngest son was hospitalized for almost two weeks in October, and our family has been reeling ever since. Simple things seem hard – Cleaning schedules Meal plans Homeschooling consistency The laundry I have yet to get these basics back on track.   Although my son is home now...Read More